Family Union - Provo, UT July 2008

Here's the story about my mom....

July 13, 2008

My mom, Linda, was born on April 23, 1949 in Wisconsin. She was immediately taken from her mother and was cared for by the nuns in the hospital. Shortly after, my mom was taken in by Williard and June Wolfe and was a foster child for over a year. At that time, Williard and June adopted my mom (because she was such a good little girl and so beautiful with "sweeping" eyelashes). In addition to my mom, Williard and June had a daughter, Nancy, who was their birth child and was ten years older than my mom. They grew up together as a family, but deep down she didn’t feel like she “fit” in and has longed to find her birth family. Growing up, my mom didn’t talk about being adopted and it didn’t seem like a big deal to us kids. I never really knew how she felt about being adopted until recently. Since her parents passed away a few years ago, my dad, David, has been researching my mom’s birth family. He’s very interested in genealogy and knew my mom’s birth name (Barbara Lynn Valliere). He found a book that was written by one of the Valliere’s and had to work through his local library to have it sent from a library in Wisconsin. My dad learned a lot about the Valliere family through this book and actually was able to contact one of the Valliere family members. I’m not exactly sure how all the details go (my dad is better to explain), but eventually my dad started to communicate with my mom’s cousin Leon (Boise). Leon was very accepting of the situation, but was trying to help my mom & dad figure out the best way to go about contacting my mom’s mother. My mom’s family is Native American and their culture is quite a bit different than our own…my mom didn’t want to disrespect anyone, so she patiently waited. One day, she got enough courage up to ask Leon for all the possible phone numbers that her mother could be reached at. She called and asked for “Doris”. Doris asked who was calling and my mom again asked if Doris was there. Doris responded and said, “Yes this is Doris, who is calling?” My mom said, “This is your daughter Linda from 1949.”

This was on May 14, 2008. Since that time, my mom and dad have made a trip up to Lac Du Flambeau, Wisconsin to visit with some of her aunts and uncles and other family. They are a traditional Native American family and are committed to continuing the Ojibwe culture and even teach the language. The family welcomed my mom into their family…my mom was even accepted into the Oneida Nation tribe!

My mom said she was planning a trip out to Utah to meet her mother….me, my brother and dad all asked if we could come too (well...I'm not sure that I actually asked...just invited myself). We were all able to rearrange our schedules to come out on a Thursday (July 10, 2008) and come back on Sunday, July 13. My mom, dad and brother all flew out Thursday morning and arrived in Salt Lake City, UT around noon. I had to work and wasn’t expected to arrive in SLC until 9:30 pm that night. They decided to go exploring while waiting for my flight to land. They went over to Park City and visited the Great Salt Lake….Brian (my brother) showed me pictures of the hundreds of spiders that were around the Great Salt Lake…I can’t believe he actually took pictures because he absolutely HATES spiders!!! They were really creepy looking too. They said it was an interesting walk to the lake…kind of mucky, stinky and dead birds all over. The lake itself was nice though and very shallow…I guess you have to walk out really far to get into deeper water. Anyway, I boarded the plane for an on-time departure and the pilot comes on the intercom…said air traffic control was holding all flights due to bad storms in the West. It looked fine to me, but I guess I’d rather wait than risk crashing in a major thunderstorm! We had to first wait for the storm to come, then pass over…we ended up waiting on the tarmac for 3 hours!!! So much for a 9:30 arrival….I called my dad and they went back to the hotel in Provo…Brian was beat tired since he didn't get much sleep the night before so he stayed at the hotel to get some sleep…my parents ended up picking me up at around 12:30am and got to the hotel around 1:30am. At this time, I was a bit wired and not tired since I snoozed on the plane. I took my bags in the bathroom so I wouldn’t wake my brother (we were sharing a room) and unpacked a bit…took out the laptop and went online. I ended up staying up until about 3:00am Utah time (4:00am CDT time). I woke up at 6:30am and couldn’t sleep anymore, so decided to get up!?!? We were meeting my grandma at her house at 1pm, so we had some time to kill. I asked my brother if he’d like to go for a run…we went downstairs and grabbed some breakfast, took our time getting ready, then met up with our parents. We heard of a nice place in the valley called “Bridal Veil Falls” and wanted to check it out. My parents dropped Brian and I off at the falls and we ran up a trail about 3 miles (completely uphill the whole way), then we turned around and met my parents about 1.5 miles down the way from the falls. It was sooo beautiful …mountains on both sides of the trail with a river flowing alongside it. Bridal Veil Falls looked like a wedding veil (hence the name) and was pretty amazing….the water was freezing cold…lots of kids were splashing around in the water completely unfazed by the temperature of the water. It was a good stopping point for us to hydrate and catch our breath. We splashed ice cold water on ourselves…wow did that feel good!!! Brian and I ended up running about 7.5 miles at about an 8:30/mile pace…I’m pretty impressed by Brian’s running….a year ago, he would have never gone running that far with me, especially at this pace!!! The altitude was a factor for us….we’re used to being right about sea level at home and we were about 1 mile above sea level (about 5,000 feet). We experienced about a 500 foot elevation change too!!!

We went back to the hotel after our run and got ready for the big meeting!! We showed up at my grandma’s house right at 1pm. My mom rang the doorbell and we’re thinking, “are we at the right house?”….my grandma finally answered the door after what felt like an eternity. She was sooo stinking cute I couldn’t stand it (standing tall at 4’9”). The initial meeting was a bit anti-climatic, like, “hi, how are you…I haven’t seen you in a while” (only 59 years!!!). I guess I wasn’t sure what it would be like to meet someone for the first time like this. She invited us all into her home (she lives with her granddaughter, Tina and her family). She had the kitchen table all set up for us to have lunch. We all gave hugs and took pictures…went in and sat at the table. We ate sandwiches and chips with the yummiest chip dip (made with Ranch and cottage cheese) and had lemon cream pie for dessert. She told us she likes to be called Dorie, not Doris, so I now call her Grandma Dorie!! We all sat at the kitchen table for a couple of hours. My mom had her adoption papers and my brother was reading through the documents asking Grandma Dorie questions. She confirmed a lot of the information in the papers and shared many, many stories with us. Wow, Grandma Dorie is an AMAZING person. She’s gone through so much in her lifetime and yet she is still so youthful and so full of life. She looks much younger than her 79 years and has such a quick wit to her. Grandma Dorie has a wonderful sense of humor and often cracks up when telling a story. She’s had open heart surgery, cancer, has diabetes, gone through the death of two children & two husbands, yet you’d never know all that she’s gone through. She has such a positive outlook on life and keeps incredibly busy. She loves to cook and won’t let anyone help her do dishes…she’s raised not only her children, but some grandchildren and other children as well. I see so many similarities to my mom….not only do they look alike, but they chose the same career path (nursing), they are hard-working individuals who value their relationship with their family, both of their dentists have told them they have small mouths (although none of us believe it), they are both full of life and quite a bit of mischief, they both love the color red…I know there are more similarities, but I can’t think of them right now.

As we were chatting at the table, my mom’s brother, Dennis came over to check in on his mom. He was surprised to see us here already…he stayed a bit, but had to get back to work. Later in the afternoon, Tina and her kids came home. We got to know Tina, Brad (Tina’s son), Kenzie (Tina’s daughter) and Bella (Tina’s youngest daughter). I had so much fun talking with and playing with the kids…their dog just had puppies and they brought them up for us to see…they were so small, they looked like little gerbils…so cute!! After about 4 hours of visiting, we headed back to the hotel to change, etc….we came back to the neighborhood (about 6 houses away) to my mom’s brother’s (Greg) house for a barbeque. We met sooo many new people!!! We sat in the front yard visiting and getting acquainted with everyone. They were all so hospitable…very welcoming and accommodating and had lots of food!!! I was only working on about 3.5 hours of sleep and after running 7.5 miles and the adrenaline of the day, I ran out of steam!! We went back to the hotel around 10pm or so to get some sleep.

Let me take a stab at laying out the family tree...we met most everyone at the barbeque on Friday night and a few others on Saturday....

Grandma Dorie

Linda & husband David
Brian & wife Rosarita
Logan
Jordan
Kristi & husband Michael
Andrew
Madalyn

Dennis
Sarah
Michael
Charles
Ashley

Pat
Tracy & husband Scott
Tyler
Nick
Dax

Carol
Tina & husband Chris

Brad
McKenzie
Isabelle
Jason & wife Ashley
Alyssa
Zack
Justin

Greg & wife Vicky
Derrick (Greg’s son)
Tiffany (Vicky’s daughter)
Patrick (Vicky’s son)

Mary

Michael

A picnic was planned for Saturday at 4pm, so we had some time in the morning. I talked my mom and brother into running a 5-K race in Orum (city right next to Provo) located at the high school benefiting an organization called “Best Buddies”. I mentioned it to my cousin Patrick (Pac) and told him that if he showed up I’d pay for his entry fee. We shook on it, but I thought since most teenagers sleep in past noon, there was no way he’d show up for an 8am race. Sure enough, he and my other cousin Brad show up at about 7:30am!!! I was sooo excited I couldn’t even stand it! It was a small race (about 80 runners or so), but a pretty nice turn out considering it was the first race and was not well advertised. I found it on a local SLC running website. So, the race starts and Brian was way, way ahead of me, Patrick and Brad. I guess Patrick and Brad were trying to talk to me, but I was listening to my IPod so I couldn’t hear them…they decided to go on ahead too. I’m thinking, “these guys are crazy…this is a bit faster than I’m comfortable with”. My first mile was a 7:20…whoa, my fastest time by far…no way I was going to keep this up. I could still see Brian, Patrick and Brad in my sites, but I didn’t want to burn out early. Brad and Patrick soon passed Brian, then I caught up and passed him too….I was behind Patrick and Brad, then at some point (maybe past mile 2 or so) I caught up with the boys…I said “good job guys!!” then went past them. We had to go around a park, then on into the high school stadium around the track one time. No way was I going to back down now!! I ran as hard as my body would allow and ended up finishing in 23:33 (7:35/mile pace). Brad, Patrick and Brian were right behind (no more than 1 minute after me). It was an awesome run!!! I saw my cousin Vicky along the way and it was such a nice surprise to see her cheering us on!!! My other cousin Chris showed up later (after we finished), but he was there to support us too!! Vicky and I went back to find my mom and I ran my mom in for the last lap…she finished in under 37 minutes!!! You go mom!!! She ended up getting a medal for being the oldest runner at the race…plus she placed in the top 3 of her age group!! Unfortunately, the first 9 runners (the elites) were misdirected on the course and ended up running an extra mile or so, so the race director couldn’t tabulate the scores. We’ll have to check out the website for the final results to see how we placed in our age group. We sat around a bit, drank water, and ate bananas & the best whole grain bread with honey…mmmm!!!

I needed to get in another 10 miles for my marathon training, so I convinced Brian to join me in another run. The plan was to have our parents drop us off at the top of the trail where we ran on Friday and run 10 miles…we were going to call my dad to pick us up after the 10 miles. So, we start running, it’s relatively cool (there’s almost no humidity in Utah…love it!) and we’re going at a pretty nice pace, considering we just ran really hard in a 5-K race less than an hour earlier. We stopped at Bridal Veil Falls to enjoy the scenery, fuel up, etc….we kept on going with a few water & walk breaks. We ran 10+ miles in about 90 minutes…whoo hoo!! It was so nice out that we decided to walk back to the hotel (it ended up being about 3.5 miles back to the hotel), but was nice to walk it out. We stopped at a 7-11 store and got Nesquick Chocolate Milk and ice cold waters….boy did that hit the spot!!! At one point, we were about to cross the street…Brian had just pushed the crosswalk button and he’s kind of doubled over and says, “A little help here!!!”. I look over and am thinking, what do you want me to do?!?! I figure out he has a cramp in his calf, so I go over and start rubbing it…little did I know that I was making the spasms worse!!! His calf finally relaxed a bit and we finished our walk back. I called my dad when we were in the elevator going up to our room to ask him to pick us up at Bridal Veil Falls (we had been gone about 2.5 hours at that time)…as I’m hanging up with him, he opened the door and we’re right there!!! We totally got him….LOL!!! Brian grabbed a bag of ice for his leg, iced it, went into the cold pool, then finished off at the hot tub. I took a little dip in the cold pool too (almost as good as an ice bath), then resorted to the hot tub for a bit. While Brian and I were torturing ourselves on our run, my mom spent the afternoon with her mom preparing food for our picnic…. I think they really enjoyed each other's company….Grandma Dorie actually allowed my mom to help out too!!!

We arrived at grandma’s house at 4:00, loaded up the vehicles and headed over to the picnic pavilion area. Another group was in our area and my cousin Vicky nicely asked them to leave because we reserved the area…they had streamers hanging up and other decorations for a birthday party…oh well, they moved to another area...besides, we had a huge group and needed all the space we could get. Our new family really knows how to have fun…they brought a karaoke machine, badminton net, footballs, volley balls, horseshoes and all kinds of fun things to do. We set up the tables and had enough food to feed an army. Everything was soooo yummy and Brian and I were absolutely starving since we didn’t eat lunch…we ate a power bar before our run and that’s it! We had spiral ham, baked beans, Grandma Dorie’s famous Indian fried chicken, pasta salad, potato salad, noodles with pork, chips with the yummy dip, fresh fruit and veggies….there were little cheesecakes and Texas sheet cake for dessert. I tried everything and it was totally awesome so I had to go back for seconds…ooohh, I was a little overstuffed!!! After eating, some of the family members performed…Kenzie and Bella did a choreographed dance, Brad played guitar and sang (played a song he wrote the night before and sang Hallelujah), Patrick played guitar, Derrick danced (he's as smooth as Chris Brown), Tiffany sang (she's sung the national anthem for the Seattle Mariners and is trying out for American Idol), Grandma Dorie recited a poem about getting old and even strummed Brad’s guitar….we took tons and tons of pictures of the entire family, of each individual family, of just my mom and her siblings (and grandma), just the grandkids and great-grandkids….we busted out the music and danced and acted silly. I even got Grandma Dorie to dance to hip hop music with me. I showed her some of my moves (not that I have any real moves) and she followed right along!! I was bumping with my cousin Chris....I have to say that our new family is totally awesome…every single person is absolutely great…they all value the importance of family all the way from the youngest to the oldest. I’m impressed at how close the family members are with one another and how respectful the children are…I thought most teenagers wanted nothing to do with adults, but not these guys!! I think they had as much fun hanging out as I did....I even tossed around a football with Derrick and Tyler...told them I throw like a girl, but they didn't seem to mind. Bella enjoyed taking pictures with my camera...I even kept several pictures she took...she may even be a photographer someday! Grandma Dorie called me over and gave me a beautiful beaded necklace that her mother made...it has a Kachina doll on it and is supposed to bring good luck (I can always use good luck)!! She also gave my mom some beaded jewelry and other items that were made by Grandma Dorie's mom. I feel honored that Grandma Dorie gave me a part of our family history....We called it a night when it got dark and the mosquitoes came out, but planned on meeting in the morning for breakfast before our trip back to the Midwest.

x

We all met at IHOP on Sunday morning...almost the whole clan showed up!!! We enjoyed each other's company for another couple hours. My new best friend Bella sat next to me and I told her she'd have to come back to Chicago with me if she didn't eat her breakfast...well...that bribe didn't work!!! In fact, not only did she NOT eat her breakfast, but she proceeded to tell everyone that she was coming home with me that day!! Bella (age 7) and Madalyn (age 6) would be quite a pair together...they both have mischievous personalities and are so freaking funny (just like Grandma Dorie)! They are very persistent and usually get what they want...I really would have taken Bella if home wasn't so far away! We said our goodbyes, gave hugs to everyone, but it totally didn't feel like goodbye. We're already making plans for our next visit and my home is open if anyone wants to come out this way to visit...we went to the airport, waited in the Delta Lounge...relaxed a bit then parted ways. My flight arrived 20 minutes early, so I was able to take an earlier bus back to Indiana...my bus also arrived 20 minutes early, so I ended up getting home about 2 hours before I planned!!! I was wearing my lucky Kachina necklace, so I have to attribute it to that!!! I had one of the BEST weekends ever...We went out to meet Grandma Dorie and ended up meeting 20+ new family members...what a wonderful experience. I'll never forget my trip out to Utah and am so thankful and blessed that I have such an awesome family. This truly is the start of a new chapter in life....